It's that time just as you're turning the on ramp, right when it comes to a head. You're thinking: goddamn how'd he get me to agree to this, I've been on the grind all motherfucking day, and there's still shit to do and dinner to make. He's going to owe me for this. I can't do this sort of thing all the time. But then the sun hits the goggles, just enough to make you blink, and the road stretches ahead of you like a rolled out carpet. And then you're thinking, stay right there sun. Keep it right level. You hit the gas and everything's as clear as it's going to be, and you try hard to make the thing sit tight. But of course it doesn't. And you think: damn, maybe next time. I hope he picks me for it. And the beat rides out, but you press in another disc, and try to get home before the light fades. And you always do.

i've got no fear for myself - that much i can prove - that much i can live

but what else

i used to know everything, what happened to that

"shit i'm an animal,
but tamer than a house cat,
cheese don't concern me,
but i'm caught up in this mouse trap.
still unsure of what I stand for,
i'm just a man torn walking blind,
caught up in this sandstorm.
i always say that i'm a one man band,
but i got more guys on stage than you can count on one hand.
damn i'm confusing, roll up the hydro.
i hate cigarettes, but im addicted to tobacco.
won't break the bank, but I'll break some bread,
and i don't want to lose my hair but then i shave my head.
whether wrong or right ima give you what you need,
cuz my whole life i had to keep up to the beat,
so i hold tight i gotta gettem where i fit in,
hittem with the rythym and when the beat goes on it's:
TROUBLE
and when the beat goes on:" - class

I'm always interested in shit I don't know. People seem to find disinterest in my features, really I'm just absorbing it all. I've got some knowledge, but it's nothing compared to the stuff some people are learning. I like it when the time is taken to level with me, and really teach me something new. I guess it's because I started asking that I get it now. No one really asks back though.

Today, just as the store closed, and no one was paying attention, I performed a task that ran on a natural timer. The indoor fish tanks all run on the same system, there are four tanks in all and a catch reservoir below. The tanks are aligned two on top, two on bottom. The water runs up from the reservoir via two pumps, which split. One pump feeds to the top two tanks, the other to the bottom two. The tanks fill until the water reaches the tip of one of two rigid pvc pipes that stand in each tank, at which time they drain into the tank below them. There are U shaped pvc pipes that bridge with the neighbouring tank, causing a vacuum, and keeping the two tanks at the same level. The problem I observe is that some tanks are clouding, this is being caused by poor circulation within individual tanks. The pvc drains are cut too high, causing the Us to send excess over to ajoining tanks. The task then, is to rip out each offending pvc pipe one at a time, saw it down to size, and connect it back before the reservoir at the bottom overflows and floods the shop. Also peform the task sufficiently carefully not to harm any of the fish in the tanks, and skillfully enough not to damage any components in the mad dash as to effectively ruin the operation and flood everything. The personal goal was to saw each pvc length quickly enough as not to interfere with the vacuum of any of the tanks. I don't think anyone witnessed the performance, but if they did they prolly thought I was on crack and destroying things at random. Success.

And now two days off.

how bout the wreck

and the wind-up:

crank well.

i see some green

why's it not:

sit well.

let's take a pill

then might:

get well.

For giving me more food than I can possibly consume in one sitting, King's I salute you.

The game really is to fix someone's problems so well the first time, and with their interests in mind, that they take your word as that of god. That regardless of how much they spent on the first purchase, they will seriously consider shelling out the big bucks when it comes the time. To pack the practiced experience into the eyes, to stand firm but relaxed, and to make the words flow together. To not answer right away, but consider, seriously, the other options. Crack wise a couple times, put your arm up on the product and relax the knee, as if you trust them not to rat on you. They'll trust you for that. Treat them like a friend, but not family, that just gets awkward. They'll know how hard you work by the stains on your shirt, the small tears in the jeans, the smudge of dirt on the hat. Helping them is a relaxation from the work you do. They'll feel special when they realize this, as if they're helping you. They have no way of knowing this is the first priority, this is the A game, this is a calculated attempt to get them to walk away with the product. When showing them around, walk a little too quickly, as if getting excited. Put the product in their hands. Memorize the labels. Use the first person, tell them about your experience with the product, how you've seen it used, who buys it, who returns it. They'll appreciate the honesty. Make light of the cost, sure it's high but really it's the easiest way to go, and if they don't buy that show them the other way to go. Odds are they'll be back for easy, everyone is. The real prize is to watch them drive away with the big box, with your name scribbled on a business card, and a dream set in their mind that you engendered. A dream you will foster if they return. A dream that enbiggens the paycheck of someone far away, but only allows you a small slice of respect. I will have the customers asking for me by name, I will wear my experience like a badge of honor, I will allow myself to be indestructable. But I will make my soul ineffable, at least until the green comes off.

And on top of that I'll bust my balls and break my back for little pay. I am perhaps middle management's most reliable bitch. At least I can make myself irreplacable, that's gotta be worth something.